Of all things – Cafe Fellatio – what next?

In the Land of Swiss cheese, they are known for many of their accomplishments. They make some of the best swiss cheese in the world, their swiss time pieces are second to none and they have an innate talent for yodeling.

Now some enterprising Swiss dude name Bradley Charvet is taking the art of yodeling and bringing it to a whole new level.


I am trying to keep this post as cleaned up as I possibly can but sometimes we have to get down to the meat and potatoes of a subject to get the true meaning or message across.

Enterprising cafe owner Bradley Charvet has come up with a brand new item he intends to put on the menu soon.  He is going to be offering blowjobs for his customers that feel the need to get their pipes clean before – during or after work. What a considerate guy!!!!

download-3                      download-1

 (No I didn’t get this from some trash magazine’s website, I got it from Fox) 

There is only one obstacle standing in Bradley’s  way. Prostitution IS legal in Switzerland but being that the Swiss are very particular about their morals, ethics and legal system, they forbid prostitution where food and booze are sold. Might contaminate the products.

As the old saying goes; there is more than one way to skin a cat or in this case possibly a beaver. Bradley came up with the brilliant idea.  What if he has robots giving  head instead of humans, possibly that will be the way to circumvent the laws of the land.

The cafe is appropriately named Cafe Fellatio. Bradley says he will install six to eight high-end sex robots at the cafe, at a cost of between $1,800 and $3,000 apiece. I can’t even imagine what the difference IN SERVICE can be between the $1,800.00 and the $3,000.00 robotic sex slave. I wonder if the robots will resemble real ladies and if they come in different NATIONALITIES to suit the customers preferences?  Lots of unanswered questions.  On the ++++ side; they will never get tired and can’t go on strike. All that is required is a little shot of W-D 40 from time to time.  You know those hinges get seized up once and awhile. 


I have heard of many different types of machine that mimic human behavior but a blowjob machine takes the cake. The concept is pretty hard to swallow.  

I would recommend to Bradley that he has all of his horney patrons sign a release from before the dirty deed, just in case the machine goes haywire and decides to get hungry all of a sudden.  

Then come the issue of sanitation. It goes without say that each one of these little beasts has to be completely cleaned and sanitize after each session. Things can get a little sticky and infectious diseases can POP UP if not properly cared for.

The unenviable task  of cleaning the sex machines will go to some very unfortunate person; like the Honey Dippers in the Far East that have to clean out the benjo ditches.


I am wondering how these head machine are going to be situated. Are they going to be in a private cubby hole for privatesy or out in the open so everyone in the cafe can get a taste of how the contraption works?

From my prospective, some dude has to be pretty desperate to get his pipes cleaned in public, especially by a robot named Dagmar.

All of this is not written in stone.  Bradley has to kick around a lot of different scenarios before opening the doors to his sex salon. 

He just may see the complexity in the matter and decide that his ideas BLOWS and will decide to give it up. 

Based on what I am reading about the Swiss; if Bradley does get the green light from the authorities, a good possibility, he will have customers lined up around the block.


In this day and age of sexual equality; I am surprised the ladies in Switzerland have not protested and come up with their own version of this idea. It just may happen or not. Stand by.

Contributors name withheld for obvious reasons





About The Goomba Gazette

COMMON-SENSE is the name of the game Addressing topics other bloggers shy away from. All posts are original. Objective: impartial commentary on news stories, current events, nationally and internationally news told as they should be; SHOOTING STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP AND TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. No topics are off limits. No party affiliations, no favorites, just a patriotic American trying to make a difference. God Bless America and Semper Fi!
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