No – a bottle????


Man reportedly has penis removed after allegedly getting it stuck in a bottle

Published October 17, 2016 – Nw York Post

With all of the craziness and outrageous political advertising bombarding us in the media for the last 2.75 years; we need a little diversion, something to make us laugh.  But that will all depend on your sense of humor.
What we have is a horny old man from Honduras that didn’t have a girlfriend to service him, so he fell in love with a bottle. I don’t know if it was a beer bottle or a soda bottle. I guess that doesn’t matter.

 

During one of his many love-making sessions with his NEW FOUND LOVE, the dirty old man got Mr. Jones stuck in the bottle and needed an emergency operation to remove his decaying penis.

Common sense should tell anyone; in a highly unusual situation like that, the guy should have gone to the garage, got a hammer and broke the bottle so Mr. Jones would have a little breathing room. I guess in his confused love making state of mind, that easy solution never occurred to him.

Instead, Don Juan of the bottle industry waited  4 days before seeking medical help. The genius finally figured he better go to sick bay when Mr. Jones began turning black  and was causing him excruciating pain.

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Embarrassing as it  was, the unnamed Romeo  walking into sick bay holding his NEW LOVE in his hand with his blackened penis inside bursting at the seam.  I can just see the medical staff doing everything they can to keep from laughing.

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Dr. Dennis Chirinos, the physician that performed the divorce said he never saw anything so odd since he has been in the medical field.

The operation to remove the man’s blackened penis eliminated one problem but created another.  Now the unnamed man has to learn how too piss through a straw.

This should serve as a lesson to all of the love-sick puppies out there.  Be careful whose bed you put your shoes under and never fall in love with a bear trap!!

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That gotta hurt.

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About The Goomba Gazette

Objective: impartial commentary on news stories, current events, nationally and internationally news told as they should be; SHOOTING STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP AND TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. Direct and to the point unbiased opinions. No topics are off limits. No party affiliations, no favorites, just a patriotic American trying to make a difference. God Bless America and Semper Fi!
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