“I do, you don’t”

Latest rumor going around Hollywood:

Mel Gibson and Kobe Bryant have just gone into a “joint “ venture. They pooled their money together; whatever is left of it after their blushing brides took them to the cleaners. They are going to build a clinic that specializes on how to get monetarily mutilated by your ex-wife.

Classes start at $ 2,000.00 per day for the Lexus package and go all the way to $ 11,000.00 per day for the Rolls Royce package.

My other sources tell me that Tiger Woods is begging the two super stars for a piece of the action. Tiger was overheard saying “who was a bigger dummy then I was”. “I even threw in an almost new Escalade until that neighbor’s tree got in my way”.

To qualify for enrollment a person has to be worth at least $ 150,000,000.00 and be a total masochist. It is an 8 year course that touches all bases from how to cheat on your wife and getting caught, to how to buy her a $ 2,000,000.00 diamond ring after she found you with your drawers around your knees.

Mel figures he is very well qualified to speak on the subject. His exit from the Missis cost him about $ 375,000,000.00. Mel got a bargain. His thirty years of marriage cost the “Mad Maxx” only $ 34,246.00 a day.

Of the two Kobe is the runner up. His payout was $ 75,000,000.00. What a piker.

Tiger being the competitor he is called ass on his two buddies and told them that their settlements were chump change. His settlement cost the “one iron” charlatan $750,000,000.00 big ones.

That is some serious money. Tiger and his tigress were married for about 6 years. That calculates to $ 341,000.00 for each day the club wielding Swedish  swinger spent in the Tigers den. I wonder if she is going to hit the old boy up for a pension?

For the advanced course, Mel is holding a special class on how to lose your temper and make a fool out of yourself. If paid up front in cash that class will be a mere $30,000.00 for one week.

It has been said that there is a waiting list a mile long to sign up.

Not to be outdone by their Knight’s in tarnished armor, the three ex’s are starting a school of their own on called “How to land a shark in three easy beatings”. With each sign up the new pupils are given a heavy duty fishing rod, a three wood and a guide book on “What to do when the wieners wanders”.

More to come as news filters in.

About The Goomba Gazette

COMMON-SENSE is the name of the game Addressing topics other bloggers shy away from. All posts are original. Objective: impartial commentary on news stories, current events, nationally and internationally news told as they should be; SHOOTING STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP AND TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. No topics are off limits. No party affiliations, no favorites, just a patriotic American trying to make a difference. God Bless America and Semper Fi!
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