Philip Morris Introduces New Marlboro Sinus PM Cigarettes:
RICHMOND, VA—At a press conference Tuesday, tobacco giant Philip Morris introduced its new medicinal cigarette, Marlboro Sinus PM, a “smokable” nighttime cough suppressant and analgesic designed to ease cold symptoms.
For years Marlboro and the other cigarette companies have been trying to put millions of people under the sod. They have succeeded in a lot of cases. If it wasn’t for the government (probably one of the only one of their most significant accomplishments) getting involved and setting stringent regulations more people would be breathing with an air tank next to them, or not at all.
Now what Marlboro is telling it’s potential customers for their new product. “That cough and sinus problem you have from smoking, we have a solution for you”. After you hack your lungs out all day on their regular “cancer sticks” they tried to kill you with, they came up with another smoke that will cure or give you some relief. Brilliant.
I wonder how many smokers out there will buy this new cough and sinus remedy?
Based on the fact that smoking is one of the most addictive habits and the hardest to quit, Marlboro should have a lot of new customers.
So all of you readers that have a sinus or coughing problem; make sure that you pop one of these puppies in your lips before you hit the sack tonight. I am sure you will feel a lot better when you wake up; that is if you don’t set your bed on fire.
It may just be a rumor but I heard that they are working on a “smokefrodisiac” that will be coming to the market as soon as they figure out how to keep the cigarette paper from swelling up when it is lit. All suggestions are appreciated.